What or who causes you to hesitate when you see or think about them? Do you hesitate with a feeling of fear, so the hesitation becomes a state of frozen animation? What do you do about this?
Movies and carnival rides are created counting on you to scream out when your Boogie Man invades your brain.
One of my favorite Boogie Men is the headless horseman from Sleepy Hollow. I don’t even remember the story. I graphically remember the flowing black cape and the flaring nostrils of his demonic stead chasing me down in my dreams. In those dreams I am never caught but I never escape. Does fear do that to you? Fear raises my awareness but freezes my capacity to react.
I can see every detail of the horse, the ride, and even the design in the saddle, and when I open my eyes I am frozen with energy that is going nowhere. So how do I use fear to bolster my energy and yet not freeze me into not utilize this surge of focus? I know people who love scary movies, stories, and nasty carnival rides and have no clue how to channel the energy that is created.
I speak with special forces military about fear and the hesitation it causes. When they pause or freeze people die, and it could be them. Their method for managing the fear is to welcome it. They see the horror and the outcomes it creates wrapping their mind around the images creates feelings of anger and disgust distracting them from the fear. In that moment they are free to move, think, and do their job. This is an extreme example that has fatal consequences if not dealt with quickly and accurately.
So, in our standard daily activities what degree of fear causes you to hesitate? Does it come in the form of failure or could be a hesitation after you unexpectedly accomplish a life changing task.
Have you failed at being on time? Does that failure energize you to ask for forgiveness and never do it again? Have you failed at paying a bill and you fear your utilities will be turned off? Would this energize you to managing your finances better? Lastly, if you fail to tell the truth do you continue to lie and are you energized from believing your lie(s)? Fear may not always cause negative behavior to stop.
When I was a little boy Wizard of Oz scared me to the point I want to see it again and again. To this day, I know when the scary parts are coming, but I smile instead of covering my eyes. Knowing what I am afraid of gives me the confidence to welcome the fear without hesitating to act.
In my business career I have met my share of scary monkeys or wicked witches. In each experience I am grateful that I know how to welcome the fear knowing I control how I will respond.
My first response to the unknown and/or frightful experiences is to pause while I attempt to see all the details I can gather. This practice provides confidence through the knowledge found in the details. In less than a month every State will be voting on new and relatively unknown candidates into legislative offices. Are you afraid? See the details, gather the knowledge, and be confident in who you vote for.
The second method I use to manage fear is to surround myself with people I trust. This is a confidence builder but more importantly their voice helps guide me through the fear especially if my colleagues are not afraid. Their objectivity defines actions I may be taking as I prepare to deal with the fear on my terms.
Third, and lastly, I take action that aligns with who I am, so I may execute agile purposeful strategies. When I act, I know fear is not controlling me. At best fear may have caused me to hesitate at the “BOO!” moment. As you join in with the many “Boo!” moments in October take charge of your actions and don’t hesitate to enjoy the trick or treats that come your way.
I love Halloween and all the fear it may create because I can handle it. That being said, no one looks good in Orange, but I will look past that when I see the smiling faces who ring my door bell dressed as fairy princes, super heroes, and ghosts. I want more reasons to smile and celebrate the child within me.
As you bring your child (children) to the homes in your neighborhood help them manage their emotions boast their confidence with these thoughts.
- Eye contact with everyone they say “Trick or Treat”
- Take some but not too much candy in one grab
- Help them describe their costume before they get to the door. You know there is an adult who is going to ask about the blue S on your child’s chest.
- Please and Thank You go far and they end the moment clean; Next house please.
Managing emotions, especially fear, is not easy all by yourself. So, adults, encourage anyone mature enough to support those less confident. Brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, family unite by sharing your confidence managing fear with those less confident then you.
Trick or treat should be a mantra to smile whether you trick, or you treat. By removing the negative from this holiday provides an example for all ages to share and embolden their own confidence. Bring on the Boogie Man! In whatever form or gender the Boogie Man appears I will welcome it. You got this. Fear is your friend and what a great month to practice managing your emotions and overcoming the hesitation that fear can create.
Managing emotions and planning for the actions steps that follow are a big part of being a performance consultant. If you are interested in knowing more about how managing your emotion can influence improving your personal performance contact me at www.360mindset.com.